It’s a good thing the bodyguards are magnificent, because this movie damn sure isn’t. Following the really fun Snake & Crane Arts of Shaolin came this dud. It surprisingly did well at the Hong Kong box office, but the movie is pretty boring, and even Jackie has stated that it is among his least favorite movies. It is another Lo Wei directed affair, and it shows. The action is dull and lifeless, as Jackie had no creative freedom here.

Magnificent Bodyguards is famous for a couple of odd trivia items. It is actually the first Hong Kong movie to filmed in 3-D. Also, it is most notable for hilariously using music from Star Wars. Not a variation or a cover, but actual copyrighted songs from Star Wars.

There are several shots in the film meant to use the 3-D aspect, that look really weird if you aren’t watching in 3-D. This was also common in movies in the States as well during the late 70’s and early 80’s. Stuff like Jaws 3 and Friday the 13th part 3 are infamous for that type of editing.

Jackie plays Lord Ting Chung, a bodyguard hired to escort a sickly man to a doctor, and must go through a very dangerous part of ancient China. Not to shock anyone, but there ends up being a swerve and it becomes a “avenge my father’s death” movie. How original.

Fight 1 – We are immediately thrust into a fight here, with Lord Chung facing several men with staffs without any context given until after. There are some obvious and bad edits in this fight, and it was clearly designed to show off the 3-D, as there are about a dozen shots of staffs flying toward the camera. It’s nothing really to write home about, but also not the worst thing I’ve seen. Would have liked it a bit more without the bad cuts. (Rating 2.5/10)

Fight 2 – Lord Ting and his mates stop at a temple during their journey, and intend to ask for directions. Instead, the monks inside decide to attack. It be like that sometimes. 3 on 5 fight, and it’s very ok. There is some cool weapon play in this, and again, several 3-D friendly shots. My big issue with this is how it was filmed. Every shot feels so crowded and cluttered. The ones that aren’t cluttered seem to be completely off-centered. I’m stunned that a director as experienced as Lo Wei, even with all of his faults, would shoot a scene like that.

Nothing really original or innovative here, but it’s not offensive. (Rating 3/10)

Fight 3 is kind of a nothing deal. Ting Chung is trying ask the King for passage to the next destination. The king makes Jackie fight one of his heavies who claims to have “iron fists”. Ting Chung easily dispatches him, and breaks his hands too. Very brief, nothing to really mention. (No Rating)

Fight 4 is the climax. It turns out the sick guy they were hauling around the whole time was FAKING IT, and he is ACTUALLY THE KING. He kills the imposter, then reveals that he KILLED TING CHUNG’S FATHER. Guess what? They gonna fight about it.

This is surprisingly violent. I know that sounds weird, given what these movies are, but something you don’t see a ton in Jackie Chan films, is gruesome imagery or blood. This fight had a woman’s entire face get ripped off. The damn “Battle of Yavin” theme from Star Wars starts playing, and I just can’t with this.

The fight itself is solid. It’s shot better than the previous one, and the editing is a little better. Not as much 3-D gimmickry either. The heroes somehow get teleported outdoors. Idk man. After this, the real meat of this scene starts, and the ending portion of this is fun. Super fast paced, and no visible edits. Good hand-to-hand stuff here. The three heroes are trying to find any opening they can on the traitorous king, and he gives them all they can handle. They finally go for a sneak attack and remove the mystical necklace that gave him his powers. The fight ends when Jackie stabs the king in the chest.(Rating 4.5/10)

One thing I find funny in a lot of these films, is that the credits start rolling like, right after the final blow of the climactic fight. Happens here before Jackie even finishes killing the guy.

Final verdict, SKIP IT. There is some unintentionally funny stuff in here, so if that is your thing, give this a look, but otherwise, this is Lo Wei at his laziest. Thankfully, this is the last time I’ll have to say that. The next two films(and reviews) are really Jackie’s launching point, and aside from a hiccup or two, he never really looks back.